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How leaders can prevent "Human Giver Syndrome"

Who’s in charge of bringing the donuts every month for the team birthdays? Taking the meeting notes? Keeping an eye on culture? You’ll likely notice a pattern.

We talk a lot about the systems that need to change to keep women from burning out and leaning out. A powerful first step is to take on a deep and pervasive mindset creates the conditions for women to overwork and burnout: Human Giver Syndrome.

The idea is that some of us, typically women, are seen as Human Givers rather than Human Beings – their purpose is to serve the needs of those around them while sacrificing their own needs and aspirations.

This isn’t just a theory. Multiple studies have shown that women are expected to be more altruistic and giving than their male coworkers, and that women are penalized when they are less giving than we think they ought to be.

Here’s what leaders can do right now to begin dismantling Human Giver Syndrome:

Recognize it: Organizationally, Human Giver Syndrome shows up in the form of default or assumed assignments for “office housekeeping” or culture-maintenance work. This might be harder to spot when we don’t need to order cake for an in-office birthday celebration, so look for the less obvious signs. Who typically leads your talent development initiatives? Who convenes – and facilitates – conversations on morale?  Who takes the notes in your Teams call? And who falls silent when it’s time to volunteer for the extra effort of maintaining culture or strengthening team connections?

Balance the load: When you notice these roles or tasks landing more often with women, be explicit in ensuring the load is shared across the team. Women are coached to suggest rotations for these tasks themselves; take that responsibility off their plate and create the rotation yourself. Or take inspiration from an anecdote shared by Adam Grant & Sheryl Sandberg, in which Richard Branson, the founder of Virgin Group, took on note-taking duties himself in an executive working session on closing the gender gap.

Name it: Make Human Giver Syndrome part of the conversation in your mentoring circles and one-on-ones. Notice it in yourself, help others notice it too, and make this an ongoing discussion. When we name it, we can tame it.

Value culture-curating work in performance appraisals and annual incentive distibutions. Period.

Tackling deep-seated organizational mindsets isn’t easy, but it’s always worth it. As a leader, you can take a powerful first step to creating a more inclusive and equitable environment for your entire organization.